You cannot accept someone else’s failings unless you are willing to first accept you own. I am offering a 3 step approach to resolving a conflict created by a couple who are out of control. #3 is Meditation.
A famous Psychologist (I can’t remember his name) offers a very simple and yet a tremendously effective form of meditation:
“First, close your eyes and begin to let go. Think about relaxing every muscle in your body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Relax…. Your chair is supporting you, so you can just let go and relax. Inhale deeply and exhale fully. Notice your breathing, notice the rhythm of your breathing lessons.Your breath stream is your life stream. Continue to relax, Be aware of the normal sounds around you. These sounds are unimportant. Discard them. Whatever sounds you hear from now on will only help you to relax. Continue to breathe deeply. As you exhale release all tension, release all stress from every part of your body, including your mind and your thoughts. Just let that stress go and relax. If you feel any stressful thoughts rushing through your mind, feel them beginning to wind down, wind down, wind down, and relax. Now let all the muscles in your face relax, especially your jaw. Let your teeth part just a little bit and relax this area. This is a place where tension and stress gather, so be sure to relax your jaw, and feel that relaxation go into your temples and then to your head and neck. Feel them relax. And as you relax you’ll be able to just drift and float into a deeper and deeper Level of total relaxation. Now feel a heavy, heavy weight being lifted off your shoulders and you immediately feel relieved, lighter, and more relaxed. Feel that soothing relaxation goes down your back, down your chest into your arms and hands; feel a soothing sensation reach your legs and go down, down to your very toes. As you listen to every breath that you exhale, you feel your body drifting, floating down deeper, down deeper, down deeper into total relaxation. Notice how comfortable your body feels, just drifting and floating deeper, deeper, deeper and relax. Now, imagine coming to a beautiful staircase. There are 10 steps and the steps will lead you to a special, beautiful and peaceful place. Count each step as you descend the stairs. There is a locked door at the bottom of the stairs and only you have the key. Open the door. Go into the world completely removed from the outside. It is your place where you can relax, think and create. Enjoy your special place for a few moments and then slowly begin to count from one to ten (Count) On the count of ten, Open your eyes! and you will feel good you will feel relaxed ready to face reality.” And I might add ready to face the hostility and anger out there. Never underestimate the power of your mind, the power of Meditation.
Listen to how the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge expressed his feelings about the power of our innermost thoughts. (1772-1834)
Written in the late 18th century. He writes:
“What if you slept?
And what if,
In your deep sleep
And what if,
In your dream,
You went to heaven
And there plucked
And beautiful flower?
And what if,
When you awoke,
You had the flower
In your hand? Is it possible to hold a flower in your hand that you plucked from your dream? Absolutely, for such is the power of your mind. Can Meditation alone solve the dilemma of a warring couple. Of course not. But if you combine Meditation with Visualization and Affirmation you have a fighting chance.